Note to self

by aaron on March 28th, 2008

Figure out a way to eradicate the word “whilst” from the English language. I mean, come on.

The last drop

by aaron on March 27th, 2008

I hate to say it, but my first solo show is coming to a close. It was a good run, my art’s been hanging at Crema for about two months. It was a great experience and I’ve loved having people email me or call me to tell me that they saw my art there. I’ve had people I don’t know call me and leave me messages just for no other reason than to tell me how much they loved my paintings. I mean, who gets to experience that kind of unsolicited acknowledgement that maybe, perhaps, they are taking their life in the right direction afterall? Apparently I do. Or at least I have. But I like it.

So Crema is open today, tomorrow, and Saturday until 3pm. I’m going to invite everyone who bought their pieces to swing by and pick them up anytime on Saturday. And I’ll show up at around 3 on Saturday to begin dismantling the place.

If you get a chance to see it before it’s gone, please do so. i’ll have more shows, but this one was particularly special. I will definitely want to show there again one day.

In May, my friend Janet Lee will be having a show at Crema as well. Her art rocks.

Also, i got an email inviting me to the Works with Words group panel discussion at the Library this Saturday. This would be something where I would get up and talk about my art and answer questions, etc. On one hand, it sounds kind of cool, because this is something that “real” artists do, right? But on the other hand, it sounds a little nerve-racking. But I do have a real excuse. I guess. Does it sound bad to say I’m probably not going to do it because I’m getting my hair did?

Give a gallery talk or go to a hair party? Did Rauschenberg have to make decisions like this?

Time

by aaron on March 25th, 2008

I’m figuring that time is passing pretty quickly when it seems like I’m going to the dentist ALL THE TIME. And I know I’m only going every six months. I have an appointment Monday immediately after a pre-natal appointment at Baptist. Michelle will be 30 weeks along already this Friday. 37 is officially “full term.” That freaks me out a bit. We have so much left to do on the house to get ready for baby. I’m working late nights and early mornings with all my freelance design. At Michelle’s suggestion, I’m strongly considering moving to working half days every day at BCC, instead of 2 1/2 days a week. Because the freelance doesn’t always (or ever) conveniently fall on Mondays or Fridays, when I’m not at BCC at all.

I’m, in a very real way, working three jobs right now: BCC, Tinymusicbox Design, and Painting.

I also have all these paintings to do for the Harding Art Show in May. Biggest/baddest show of the year, and one of the most prestigious in the Southeast … and let’s just say that most paintings that you see or buy on May 1st-3rd will be quite fresh.

We went to a diaper seminar at Babies-R-Us tonight. It was great, there was only one other couple there and the teacher was named June and was terrific.

Michelle and I are going to a hair-cutting party Saturday at a friend’s house. Never done that before.

Please know that if I seem scatterbrained, stressed, have unkempt hair (to be remedied by aforementioned hair-party), bad memory, bad grammar, and only seem to post once a week (I pray that’s not a habit) … it’s because I’m a little overwhelmed right now. And I don’t even have time to go into the half of it. Lots of big (and great) things in the oven right now … but can’t talk now. Gotta run. It’s 11:30. I’m going to try and get up at 6 and do Freelance-work until I gotta go do BCC-work at 8:30.

– Aa.

P.S. I apologize if you just read that post and are thinking, what the $&*# did I just waste 5 minutes of my life on that for? Especially if you’re a new reader. I promise I’m better than this :)

Traction

by aaron on March 18th, 2008

Life is like you are laying down on a weight bench, working on your sweet bench-pressing skills. It’s taken you weeks to finally be able to bench a certain weight, and you are now able to do 12 reps. FINALLY. And it’s right at that moment that the trainer comes over and throws on some more weight. And you’re like, DUDE! I was FINALLY getting it! Why did you go and make things even harder on me? Is that the thanks I get for working so hard?

Well … um … yeah, it is. I don’t like it, but that’s how you build muscle, right?

This is how my life has been for awhile. Every time I seem to be making progress, I get more weights thrown on top and it gets even harder. But the benefit of this is that it’s actually making me stronger. And right now, in a rare moment of clarity, I can see that. I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels for the past ten years. Occasionally I get some traction and get a little further, but I feel like I’ve been trying and trying but just can’t seem to “make it.” And I’m not sure I even know what that means.

And with Junior on the way, I don’t think things will slow down any. But maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe there’s a big difference at this time in my life, and that difference is that i finally feel like all this struggling has begun to head in a very good direction. Michelle and I are busier right now than we’ve ever been in our lives. Yeah, I’ve said that before, but literally, I can’t see straight, there’s so much going on. But it’s GOOD stuff. (Good stress is still stress, right?) And there are things in the works that I think will take our lives in a direction we’ve only dreamed about.

Things are great. Busy and great. Frightening and great. I keep thinking about my son, thinking about what he’ll look like, what he’ll feel like and sound like. We have so much to do to get ready for him, it hurts my head just thinking about it. But I can’t wait to meet him. I just want to hold my wife in one arm, hold him in my other arm, and let the rest of the world just float on by.

Rain

by aaron on March 15th, 2008

Our baby shower is today. As the name would suggest, it’s also raining cats and dogs.

Sweet.

Pitch Black

by aaron on March 13th, 2008

Up yours, Mr. Let’s Play God And Mess Our Clocks Up Every Six Months For The Hell Of It. Apparently you weren’t trying to wake up at 6am in the pitch black morning to make your life better by going to the YMCA.

Jerk.

Note to Futureson: When you go to buy paper napkins, the packs that hold 250 and the packs that hold 500 are the EXACT same size. I’m not sure what kind of conspiracy Bounty has got the exciting world of disposable kitchen products into, but I don’t trust it. It’s madness, I tell you. You don’t even get a deal for buying the 500, it’s literally double the price. In the SAME SIZE PACKAGE. My prayer to you is that by the time you start buying napkins for yourself (2026-ish?) that this utter lack of respect for the laws of physics has somehow come to a peaceful end.

Brave the Rain

by aaron on March 12th, 2008

This is one of the first paintings I did in my current child-like style. I painted it in March 2006, along with 4 other pieces, for the annual Kidney Kaper benefit for the National Kidney Foundation. It’s still one of my favorite pieces I’ve done, it’s very raw and although I think that in a lot of ways my paintings now are better, there’s something I love about the primitive nature and innocence of this one. I was journeying into a part of me I hadn’t seen in quite some time, and I hardly knew what I was doing. But this piece in particular holds a very special place in the history of my life as an artist. And perhaps I will go deeper into the “why” sometime in the future.

I had been asked to donate some paintings to the Kaper (a very fancy, black-tie event … not the place you’d expect to see my art) and for some reason when I started thinking about what to create, I kept picturing that this was going to possibly raise money for kidney patients, and that those patients might be children, and what does the world look like through the eyes of a child with kidney disease. Or any disease? Or for that matter, what does the world look like through a child’s eyes, PERIOD? I don’t know why exactly I went in the direction of something that would appeal to a child, but I did. And I’m glad I did. When Michelle saw it for the first time, she was floored and told me “You’ve done it now.” And apparently those black-tie folks weren’t turned off by my five paintings that seemed VERY out of place, because I sold three of them that night.

But this one didn’t sell. Apparently it had other plans. I am extremely honored and excited that it’s been chosen for inclusion with the Works with Words exhibit at the Nashville Downtown Public Library. You know, I don’t even know for sure if that’s “prestigious” or not, but I’ve seen the gallery and it’s beautiful. And the show, as the name implies, is about art incorporating words in some way. Which is a huge part of what I’m about.

So the show opens this Saturday, March 15th. There will be an opening reception from 2-4pm. Conveniently the EXACT same time as our baby shower, so I won’t be able to make it to the opening. But the show will remain up until the end of June, I think, so if you’re in the neighborhood, stop by and check it out!

Being a husband

by aaron on March 11th, 2008

Michelle and I are in a birthing class one night a week for six weeks. Last night was our third class, and the class had broken up into men on one side and women on another. The women were asked to make a list of what types of things would be helpful if their husband did during labor and delivery. The men were basically asked the same thing, what types of things do we think would be helpful for us to do during labor and delivery. And then we all compared notes afterwards.

I’ve gotta say, I was a little dismayed by some of the comments within the father’s group. Just some of the things that were said (but not written down) really got to me. Things like:

“What about what the husbands need during the labor? Women make it all about them.”
“She’ll only be able to eat ice chips. Don’t eat in front of her. I don’t know why we have to suffer just because they can’t eat.”
“I find I’m usually most helpful when I don’t do or say anything at all.”

And other things I can’t think of right now. Now, not everyone in my group was like this, but there seemed to be far more disinterested husbands than there should have been. Several were more interested in staying quiet so we could hear what the girls were talking about, and then we could just copy their answers.

This kind of thing makes me uncomfortable and irritated. It’s why men get such a bad reputation. This especially is a time for a husband to step aside and shine all the light he can on his beautiful, glowing, pregnant wife. She’s experiencing the most life-changing 9 months in her life, going through changes and feelings we can’t even imagine. Sometimes we can feel a little helpless or useless in this situation, and I understand that. But this is our chance to form an even closer life bond with our favorite person in the world, right? We’re not the main star of this film, but we have the opportunity to be a terrific supporting actor.

Dads: step aside. Check your ego and leave it behind. For once, this really isn’t about you. You’re not the one who’s gotta push that baby out. This is our woman’s time to shine. Let her shine and you won’t be sorry, I promise.

I mean, really, when the mother of your child thinks back to when she was pregnant, a time unlike any other in her life, and she remembers what kind of a husband you were, what do you want those memories to be?

Time change

by aaron on March 9th, 2008

We sprung an hour ahead this morning. The time won’t change back until after the baby is born, so I am one hour closer to being a dad :)

Note to son: I know even in your mother’s womb, you can hear things. Lots of things. If you happen to hear either of us talking about how the fact that your expected delivery date is less than 3 months away makes us scared/overwhelmed/freaked, please know that it’s only because we want to have a wonderful home prepared for you when you arrive. You’re like a very special guest coming over for dinner, and I want to prepare you the best meal you’ve ever dreamed of. Except that I don’t even know how to cook.

And this 3 month thing I’m talking about is like an outside maximum. You could very well come earlier. I know several recent babies who came early, one as early as six weeks. Yeah, that freaks me out. One way or another, we will make sure we are ready for you to get here.

And one thing I told Michelle on the phone last week is this: For the first couple of years, a baby is not going to remember or care about what their house looked like. They won’t care that there’s wallpaper hanging off the wall or if there’s still a stack of unpacked boxes in the corner. Or whether or not we have a backyard. All these things are important, but they’re not the most important. What the baby will remember and care about is how his mom and dad loved each other, cared for him, read him stories at night … that’s the kind of thing I remember most about the first ten years of my life. I couldn’t tell you if our houses growing up were a mess or not. We’ve got to remember that.

In other news, last night I dreamed that Conan O’Brien and I went to a donut shop and engorged ourselves with donuts of all kinds.

Apparently I was dreaming of heaven.

Because it needs to be said.

by aaron on March 5th, 2008

Sometime around June 6th of this year, I will be having a son.
I already love him, before I’ve even met him.
Once I meet him, my love for him will only increase. Exponentially.
This will be a completely unconditional love. (Unconditional means “without conditions.”) So that means there will be no rules my son has to play by in order to get his dad’s love.
He will never be able to do anything to earn it and he will never be able to do anything to lose it.
He is a gift, plain and simple, and he will owe me absolutely nothing. Ever.

I cannot stress that enough.

I have been given a beautiful wife and a son. I have been given a family. And my role in this family, as the husband and father, is one that has consistently been abused by men for centuries. I believe very strongly that my role in this family is one of servant leadership. Yes, I do believe I am in the leadership role in my home, a role that I admit to not filling very consistently in 6 years of marriage. But that has to change. The greatest way to lead is by serving the ones you have been sent to lead. Not by ordering them to do my bidding, not by keeping them isolated and silent. Not by condemning them or teaching them to walk on eggshells.

A good leader listens to his family, loves them with all his heart, puts their needs above his own, and is willing to lay down his life for them. This is the husband and father I will strive to be.

Note to my future son: Your mother and I will love you unconditionally, undeniably, and without restraint. You are a precious gift and we will forever be grateful.

Note (no. 2) to my future son: Despite what you may hear or see or read, pay attention to the following words very carefully: The world is NOT out to get you. Most people I have ever met are friendly, kind, genuine, and would love to tell you about their day if you just take the time to ask them.