Shatterproof

by aaron on January 30th, 2008

We got our Babee Tenda feeding table and put it together last night. It wasn’t that easy but it wasn’t that hard either. Definitely a two person job. It’s so adorable in our living room. But I noticed that the shatterproof plastic that makes up the footrest happens to be shattered, so I’m going to call the company and get it replaced.

W.

by aaron on January 28th, 2008

You know, if he would just give in and wear a cowboy hat while addressing the nation, I might even listen to what he had to say.

One week

by aaron on January 25th, 2008

No, I’m not starting a Barenaked Ladies theme to my blog titles. Not a bad idea, but in this case, pure coincidence.

February 1st will mark my official first day as a part-time-employed / part-time-freelance-designer / part-time-artist. That’s one week from today. A lowly seven 24-hour periods from now.

Um, Scary.
Exciting, but yeah, definitely scary.

We have our baby on the way, and June is fast approaching. Michelle is 21 weeks along today. That means that we’ve been pregnant longer than we will continue to be pregnant. And my former painting-studio-turned-storage-facility has not yet begun the transformation into what will inevitably be the cutest/coolest nursery in the 37221 zip code.
 
In one week, I will be getting my last full-time paycheck. At a time in our lives when we should be stockpiling money, my job gets cut in half.
 
Will we be okay? Yes. It’ll be a struggle for a while, but I fully believe we will be okay. In part because I have confident in our abilities to generate enough income to make up the difference. But the most convincing reason for me is how our friends and family have gathered around us in this changing-by-the-minute era of our lives and have promised they would not let us fall. People have not been giving us their money to lift us up, they have been giving us themselves, and that’s what strengthens us and lifts us to fight another day.

It’s going to be rough. I don’t know many families that begin when times are not rough. Maybe this is a rite of passage and an opportunity to finally get our lives on track and grow the heck up. In fact, pretty much everybody I know is struggling in one way or another right now. Yet at the same time, it feels like something big and life-changing and unexplainably wonderful is in the air.

I do realize that I will look back one day and realize that this job-cut was the best thing that ever happened to me. Isn’t that almost always the case? So I know there is a great path ahead of me that will take Michelle and I (and whatever little people happen to be living with us) to places we’ve dreamed of.  Any decent parent just wants to be able to give a great life to their children. Perhaps we will be able to set them up with a great home and parents that they can trust and count on, but I realize too that they will carve out their own path, their own beliefs, their own life.

More than anything, I want my children to know that they can count on and trust Michelle and me. They may grow up “broke” or they may be the children of those rich and famous Grayum artists you’ve read all about in Time magazine. But I want my children to be able to come to me and ask for help when they’re scared. I want them to know that their mommy and daddy love them without condition, without strings, and without exception, and that there’s nothing in the world they could ever do to screw that up.

And I take comfort in knowing that showing my kids unconditional love doesn’t cost a dime. 

Music

by aaron on January 24th, 2008

Speaking of music, what are some other good songs about being parents / advice to children, etc … I’ve been trying to compile a “baby songs” list for inspiration. Songs with a generally positive message/theme. Or maybe even good songs to play for baby.

Examples: 
Positive: Ben Folds - “Gracie”
Negative: Everclear - “Father of Mine”
Positive: John Lennon - “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)”
Negative: John Lennon - “Mother”

You get what I mean, i hope. What are your suggestions?

When you dream

by aaron on January 23rd, 2008

One of my favorite songs in the world is “When You Dream” by Barenaked Ladies. I was in college when Stunt came out, and I think I put the album on repeat for about 6 months. I recently rediscovered this album and had forgotten how GOOD it is. The last song on the album is a very ethereal, atmospheric piece about dreams. It’s beautiful musically, but what makes it one of my favorites are the lyrics. I am fascinated by the concept of dreams, and the dreams in the lyrics have very personal meanings for me. It’s one of those “How did they know exactly what I was thinking” kind of songs, so I have long held this song very close to my heart.

In the first weeks after we found out we were pregnant, I was listening to this song one morning at my desk, and decided to go online and get the lyrics. It had been awhile, and I wanted to re-familiarize myself with them. I read the first line, and it absolutely floored me, because for whatever reason, I had never noticed that line before. “With life just begun, my sleeping new son” … it caused a total paradigm shift for me. I had always thought that Steven Page was singing to the listener, very generally and hypothetically. When I read this line, I realized he was singing directly to his son. And the thought hit me instantly that our baby will have dreams. Real dreams. About anything and everything. And when this realization hit me, I listened to the song and read the lyrics, and I began crying, uncontrollable and ugly, for literally ten minutes. I couldn’t stop. It was this overwhelming sensation of pure and absolute joy. I was overcome. I only wish Michelle had been there with me at the time.

I truly and completely cannot wait to be a daddy. I can’t wait to see Michelle be a mommy. It’s going to be wonderful.

When You Dream — MP3

“When You Dream”
by Barenaked Ladies
—————————————————-
With life just begun, my sleeping new son
has eyes that roll back in his head
They flutter and dart, he slows down his heart
and pictures a world past his bed
It’s hard to believe
As I watch you breathe
Your mind drifts and weaves

When you dream,
what do you dream about?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
Do you dream about
music or mathematics
or planets too far for the eye?
Do you dream about
Jesus or quantum mechanics
or angels who sing lullabies?

His fontanelle pulses with lives that he’s lived
With memories he’ll learn to ignore
And when it is closed, he already knows
he’s forgotten all he knew before
But when sleep sets in
history begins
But the future will win

When you dream,
what do you dream about?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?
Are they colour or black and white,
Yiddish or English
or languages not yet conceived?
Are they silent or boisterous?
Do you hear noises just
loud enough to be perceived?
Do you hear Del Shannon’s “Runaway” playing
on transistor radio waves?
With so little experience,
your mind not yet cognizant
Are you wise beyond your few days?
When you dream,
what do you dream about?

Suspense …

by aaron on January 22nd, 2008

Well, we still don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl … little punk was all curled up tight the entire visit and wouldn’t give us a show! Maybe this means that he/she won’t be an exhibitionist when they grow up, so I suppose that’s one less thing to worry about. And overall it was a wonderful visit - we learned that the baby’s heartbeat is 141 and weight is 13oz. The overall health is good, we just weren’t able to see the goods! Ah well … God is indeed a romantic and as fate would have it, we get to go back and try again on Valentine’s Day!

Our favorite part about the visit was getting to witness a full-fledged, unmistakable yawn, complete with outstretched arm action!

Babee

by aaron on January 21st, 2008

On Saturday, Michelle and I purchased a “Baby Tenda Safe Feeding Table. Yeah, I realize they haven’t taken a new marketing photo since 1982, but we attended a demonstration of this product on Saturday (cleverly disguised as a “Baby Safety” seminar) and we were instantly sold. And apparently Doogie Howser was raised in this table, so I see good things in our baby’s future.

Last night, Michelle helped me hang art at a soon-to-be-opening-its-doors coffee shop called Crema. Rachel and Ben are simply amazing people and they’ve picked a fantastic up-and-coming location to start this phase of their lives. One thing that’s especially exciting for me is that this will officially be my very first “solo” show. Group shows have been terrific, and there will be many more of those in the future. But being the only person showing art under one roof is a little intimidating. I’m very happy with how it turned out though, and I am very honored to be Crema’s very first artist. We hung 11 pieces (8 of which are brand new) and I think they complement the space nicely. The shop opens Jan. 28th, and look for an art opening/reception/party sometime in mid-February.

And finally, one of the most exciting things in my life will be happening tomorrow morning … our 20-week ultrasound is scheduled and we’ll find out if we’re having a He or a She. We’re pretty sure it’s going to be a human baby, although a monkey, dolphin, or fluffy pony will also be acceptable, and perhaps intriguing. Our moms are coming with us, which we are super-excited about. I think it’ll be a great bonding experience. I hope they give us one of those 3D/4D ultrasounds. I get why they’re called 3D, but is 4D just referring to the fact that it’s a video? Because the 3rd dimension is depth and the 4th is time … if that’s the case, then wouldn’t one of those black and white ones that don’t show depth still be 3 dimensions since it shows time too? Why don’t they ask me to approve these labels before just unleashing them onto an unsuspecting pregnant population? Is there even the slightest chance that I know what I’m talking about this morning?

Sea change

by aaron on January 9th, 2008

A lot has been happening. We got the insurance deal worked out. Gonna be expen$ive but at least we’ll HAVE insurance. This morning Michelle got interviewed and photographed for a story in The Rage. Look for that soon. We’re going down to Atlanta to experience the Gift Market with our friend Angie from Knobstoppers (as a possible venue in our future) and also we’ll be visiting some art galleries to see if I want to approach anyone about showing my art in the ATL. I’ve been painting daily for the opening of Crema later this month.

And we get to find out our baby’s gender in a week and a half! I can’t wait for this, i HATE calling our baby an “IT” but sometimes that’s what happens because I can’t figure out what to say. Sometimes I switch back and forth with He or She. We really want to know … I think that will help make it even more real for us. Plus, I will finally let Michelle start registering for our baby shower :) I know lots of parents want to wait and be surprised at the birth by the gender of their baby. I get that, and that’s cool. Michelle and I think that for us, the birth itself will be a time full of surprises, so we’re on board to know as soon as possible. And then we can paint the nursery and all that stuff I can’t wait for.

This past month in particular have been very difficult. But things are looking up. The other day, Michelle returned the reporter’s call and left her a message. Less than a minute after hanging up, Michelle got a random call from a woman inquiring about a cake top! That freaked us out for the day. Something big is happening in our lives. We don’t know what it is, but I think that we’re in for a sea change. I feel like for the past 5 years, we’ve been struggling just to survive. 2008 will be no cakewalk, for sure, but I think it has all the potential of being the greatest year of our lives.

Well, the greatest year so far.

An update for reals

by aaron on January 4th, 2008

Great news (finally)! They have decided to amend the insurance policy at my job to allow part-timers access to health benefits! This move will grandfather me in, since I’ve been here full-time for over three years. I don’t know yet what the cost will be, but for the moment I don’t really care. Michelle and I are ecstatic. This is some of the best news we could have hoped to get. The past few weeks have been excruciating, not knowing how in the world I was going to be able to get insurance. I’ve been in a holding pattern, not knowing if I need to go find another job, or if I can start concentrating on my freelance business. This way Michelle and I get to keep the policies we have as long as I continue working here, so now that I know this, I will set my sights forward and make the freelance stuff happen for real.

Woo-hoo!

Now that this blog is nearly a month old, maybe I can go back to actually writing about daddy stuff like I intended.

Not much of an update

by aaron on January 2nd, 2008

on the whole job/insurance thing … basically I am waiting to hear what my employers are going to do. There are some options on the table. The best option, at least from my side of the table, maybe not theirs) is to extend health insurance options to part-time employees. That would solve everything. They looked into it a few months ago and never really did anything with it. So this is an option I hope they take, but they may not. If they don’t, I will talk to them about other options. I just sincerely hope they don’t plan on doing “nothing.” The powers in charge have told me they won’t leave me hanging. So really that’s all I have to go on at this point.

I officially have a month before going down to part-time.

If this insurance business gets cleaned up and taken care of, I will be heading down the freelance designer / painter extraordinaire route with my career. Michelle is fully supportive of this. It will allow me more time to do what I really want to be doing (working for myself) and very importantly, lots more time at home to help out Michelle and be with our future child. The only reason I would go get another job (or even a part-time job at somewhere like Starbucks that offers health benefits) is if I can’t keep my current policy through the birth in June.

Did I mention that because I am an expectant father, I am uninsurable until the baby’s born? I find this policy by the insurance companies to be undeniable proof that they are evil and most likely dine on baby kittens in their penthouse suites carved out of pure gold.